VALIYAVAN - ?#@*&%!

VALIYAVAN-Viewers torture & reviewer's nightmare!

Cast: Jai, Andrea Jeremiah, Bala Saravanan, Alagam Perumal, & Anupama Kumar

&Crew: S/SP/DIR - Saravanan D.O.P - Dinesh Krishnan, Music -D.Immam,Edit-Subarak, Lyrics - Naa Muthukumar, Viveka

Producer - K. Sampath

After watching the film this is how i felt - ?#@*&%! - these are symbols of profanity which i cannot express in my review.

Why the hell should I review this film! was my original thought soon after leaving the theatre; I was furious then but after the 'cool in' period I decided to write a few lines; only with the fond hope that i might dissuade those who read my review from watching this film even on DVD!

Look! Anyone can take a film these days but to waste crores on such crap is a crime and the biggest punishment that you can heap on the maker is boycott such films as this. Let me quickly get to the premise: 

This film starts at the Chennai International airport when an Indian boxer returns after winning a silver medal at the Olympics! And our hero Jai wants to beat him to a pulp! and the whole scene is shot on green matt to make it look classy! though it looks so ordinary. After this opening the film goes into a bizarre, jerky mode and the director does a harakiri to his own film; like a japanese kamikaze pilot, unfortunately he also manages to drag the hero, heroine and producer along with him! To force novelty into his film the director begins the film from the later half of the film in an attempt to surprise the viewer. And ends up making a royal mess of the plot and screenplay, Some of the characters like the madcap beggar trying to kiss the hero, the dog chasing the hero, the drunk hero puking from the top of the flyover on the afroamerican girl who is being proposed by her boyfriend are so so idiotic and illogical that you end up thinking whether the madcap beggar a character in this film had directed this film. Andreah looks like a girl trying various costumes for the annual queen's grand ball! Jai looks like a guy in a constant constipated mode; struggling to play his part and delivering his dialogues. Why the hell did Jai agree to do this role? Money or boredom must have been the sole criteria for accepting this role which he is most ill suited for! Look! a guy who is neither trained nor has the mental framework suddenly becomes a six pac sporting athlete and a boxer who makes mincemeat out of a boxer  who is olympic medal winner. What kind of crap is this!~ Then out of the blue we have Andreah professing her love to Jai in a subway; this is the only other novel idea this director has managed to think off. The film then goes into a hide and seek game which can only be compared to ice spy game which kids play. In fact probably the game will be more interesting than this ! Then we have Jai's father who is Andrea's mentor and Andrea becomes Jai's mentor. The funny and most idiotic part is that none of them are aware of this except Andrea who pretends and un pretends the whole time; Hope u get what I am saying! Even otherwise don't watch this film! Then of course we have the four locations the film has been mostly shot in, the subway, inside a bank, and the inside of a mall and lastly on top of the flyover. By the way i forgot to mention Jai works in a mall and Andrea in a bank. What difference does this make to the premise; absolutely nothing! And finally what a mockery of the disabled; the characterization of Andrea's deaf mute caretaker & cook is made to look like a spoof of the disabled; if this is meant to be humour it simply failed to impress me one bit!

P.S Most of the film is narrated by the hero; so if you get your hands on the soundtrack of this film and hear it once it will serve you better than watching this film!

& the climax: is so illogical and uninspiring it felt like watching a staged boxing match inside a television studio with Arnab Goswami, Barkha dutt and Rajdeep Sardesai watching and televising it ! 

Cast & Crew: All the actors and technicians in this film minus the director have very little say in the making of a film in Tamil cinema; except for the big guns of Kollywood! So I really dont want to be over critical of them in such badly made films. They cannot be truly blamed for such disaster films ! Even if they put up an outstanding performance this film could never have been saved!

Bottom line: 1, 5, 8, or 16 crores; directors should stop making films like this; and producers should learn to put their money to better use by prudent selection of scripts!

Finally a quote: "A flip book would make better viewing & interesting than watching such films"

My Rating: 1/5

Until next time,

Director Haricharan

29/3/2015